q: this week, my boyfriend left for japan, where he will be traveling for work for about 4 months. i won’t be able to visit him, so we won’t have much contact. this is the first serious relationship for both of us, so his leaving is extremely hard. here’s the thing: i feel as if his missing me will ruin the whole trip for him, so i was contemplating ending things — that way, he’d spend a couple of weeks being sad, then he’d get over it and enjoy the time he has there. should we break things off and reconnect when he returns (if we still feel the same)? or should i stay with him and ruin his trip, but hope things work out when he gets back?
- sayonara, sweetheart
a: wow, we are jealous! being a bitch is a full-time job, but it doesn’t really come with travel perks. okay but seriously, getting to travel to another country for several months is a great adventure and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. but why do you say that being in a relationship will completely prevent him from enjoying his time there? just because he won’t be free to romance a geisha? puhleez.
first off, he will be spending a lot of his days working, just like he would if he were back home. and during his free time, he has a WHOLE ENTIRE COUNTRY to explore! there are all kinds of delicious foods and sightseeing and cultural experiences to keep him busy, and while he will surely wish you were there to share them, he’ll have a ton of great stories to tell you later. what WILL ruin his good time, though, is if you immediately dump him and he has to spend the entire time moping about why you didn’t love him enough to stick it out for four lousy months.
although it really sucks that you aren’t in a position to go visit him, it doesn’t mean you’re completely cut off. you can email each other every day, coordinate time zones so you can webchat online, or skype. international phone calls are expensive, but if he’s valuable enough that his company is sending him overseas for four months, then he can afford a quick call or two per week. you can send him a care package of his favorite american-style goodies, and he can send you souvenirs that remind him of you! there are lots of ways to stay in touch, if you’re willing to get creative.
since you say that this is your first serious relationship, we’re going to guess that you’re both fairly young, and this may also be a newish relationship. but trust an ol’ bitch: although it feels like it now, four months is NOT that long and it will go by quicker than you think. and just imagine the amazing reunited-and-it-feels-so-good sex when he returns!
