q: i work for a very small company… and my male boss likes me waaaaay too much. i swear i have done absolutely nothing to encourage any of his weird/creepy behavior — stuff like calling me by cutesy nicknames, bringing me treats i didn’t ask for, giving me icky compliments, etc. it hasn’t gotten into any molest-y territory (yet), but really, it’s already far too inappropriate for the workplace!
we have nothing like an HR department here, and i don’t know how to explain how i feel to him without him a) getting embarrassed and b) becoming a total dick to me or c) firing me.
i am already looking for a different job, but because of the economy and my need to pay the bills, i am kind of stuck here for now. he is my direct supervisor and there is no one above him i can talk to (he’s the CEO).
what is the best course of action with the lowest risk of consequences? this sucks!
- looking for a new position
a: yeah, that’s a shitty situation. the lousy economy is forcing plenty of people into less-than-ideal work — jobs they’re overqualified for, entry-level retail or temp gigs just to earn a paycheck — but nobody should have to put up with a heavy-breathing boss creepin’ around the office. we believe that you didn’t do anything to encourage him, but honestly, even if you were prancing around in miniskirts and bending over to pick up dropped pencils all day long, it wouldn’t make it okay for him to harass you!
if you’re ready to go to the mattresses (heh), the equal employment opportunity commission website explains how to file a complaint – the first step in filing a harassment lawsuit against your boss. state laws may also offer you some protection, but you might want to lawyer up to be sure you’re taking all the right legal steps.
on the other hand, a lawsuit will be time-consuming and expensive, and it’s a lot easier to GTFO and never look back, even if it means temping or being unemployed for a little while.
in the meantime, we know it’s awkward and gross but you really should start verbalizing that his behavior is not welcome. when he calls you “sugar monkey” or a cutesy version of your name or whatever, calmly say, “please, call me [your real name].” politely decline any treats, drinks, free tickets he can’t use, or anything else he tries to give you; if he insists (i.e., leaves items on your desk and won’t take them back), throw them straight in the trash where he can see. casually leave a copy of your employee handbook lying open to the harassment policy page. if he gives you a “compliment” that’s really a lame excuse to ogle your body, feel free to make a “joke” such as, “you know, roger, if you keep talking about how toned my thighs are, i might have to sue you for harassment!” then give him an icy fake smile while he chuckles uncomfortably. not only will this hopefully force him to dial it back, but you’ll be doing future female employees and even him (not that you care) a favor by setting some boundaries for what’s acceptable in a workplace environment EVEN THOUGH THEY SHOULD ALREADY BE OBVIOUS TO ANY NORMAL PERSON.
